Tuesday, April 8, 2014



Dear all whoever reading this post. First of all I want to ask, why the hell are you here? Even I don't know why I am writing this at this hour when I am suppose to be resting after a long day at work. It's not actually long I work 9 hours a day (yes, I skipped lunch almost every day). I am exhausted with my job... I don't even know how to make my job enjoyable anymore... I kind of hate everything right now and all I want to do now is to be with myself.

I hate going out... I hate meeting people, I hate waking up at 6.30am everyday, I hate getting stuck in the jam everyday, I hate my working life it's been months since I last go out and have fun with my friends. I have been postponing because I always don't have enough money and I don't want to. What am I kidding... maybe I am suffering some new employee depression. Okay.. I am just making that up...no such thing for an Asian to have a depression.   

So what I'm doing right now is documenting this moment so when I read this after a few months after this, I will be laughing. I mean I should be, I signed up for this, things will always be the same for an engineer.  I will always have to deal with deadline, people pressuring me, sitting on the same spot for 9 hours... even the most positive people will be demotivated.

I need a vacation right... But I feel like I am a weak person if I do that, if other people can do it. Why can't I do it? I can do this... I can do this. I am not weak...just very very very demotivated.

  Look at my desk... This is actually quite clean. Files, drawing plan keep piling up. I am mentally tired right now. Even writing this post making me tired. 

So abrupt end because I want to do nothing and maybe after this I will be refresh and motivated to take over the world again.


No comments: