Friday, September 19, 2008

teenagers


When I was a teenager I loathe going out with my family. I admit that I used to have the urge to fit in. To resist being an individual instead wanted to be a part of a group. But that’s common among teenagers though it did affect me until now. Not the part of loathing an outing with my family but afraid of showing and being an individual. I still hide behind someone’s back and try not to create any attention so that nobody will realize my existence.

But deep inside my heart there’s someone in me that crave for attention, loving every minute being in the limelight though I wouldn’t admit it out loud. I wanna people recognize me not just as some girl next door or some quiet girl that will only speak up whenever she’s in her comfort zone. I envied every human being that have the courage to speak out loud what their opinion (no matter how stupid it sound), I envied those attention seeker people because I would never be as daring as that.


Whenever I watched a movie with a daring character, I keep on wishing I could be just like that. I did try to channel some character as my own, I will admit now that I used to imitate Daria a cartoon character at MTV. The reason I imitate this character because she is bold, she’s not the type to pleased people or give a crap about what they think about her, I like the fact that she seldom smiled. I like bitchy character more than the nice one. I prefer Lindsay Lohan as a Mean Girl in ‘Mean Girls’, I like those bitchy types that will do anything to get what she want no matter what. It makes me wonder why can’t I be like that.


Why can’t I just treat people like trash I don’t give a fuck with whether they like it or not. I want to be brave, I want to be courageous, I want to be bold… and yet I am anything but that…


I am just a plain and ordinary girl, trying to strive, trying to keep up, struggling to be a part of this world, hoping that one day this plain girl voice would be heard by somebody.


This entry will be ended by pictures of our family little outings.




my minor dream is to get one of those without going broke...

i like this picture... my bro and sis has a tight bond... the youngest is protected by all...
i'm just showing off... muahaha...

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