Monday, April 21, 2014

Motivation Monday

As stated in my linkedin profile I am now in my eight months of employment. In my 8 months I am beginning to hate Monday with a vengeance. I can relate to every hate Monday meme post such as these...

 Yep... I am slowly evolving into the typical cubicle 8 - 5 white collar worker. 

The thing is I don't want to feel like that. I try to think of one sole reason that makes me hate my job and all I can think of is my office environment. I used to think that I am a survivor that as an introvert this working environment works for me. I don't have to talk or mingle with people and everybody mind their own business... should be perfect right?

But I just realize that I am not a robot (okay...) and I do need human companionship and I am desperate to be a part of a team where I can relate to. It made me miss my Samur days, I thought that was bad but now I feel even worst. Being isolated in a 6 working staff office is not funny at all, I hate it when I can't understand their language and sometimes I feel discriminated. And then there's a little voice in the back of my head saying, maybe I am not just good enough, maybe I am just a fucking loser. That voice insidiously making me believe how unworthy I am everyday.  

Positivity should help right?

It did help a little. I started listening motivational speech, I pray on my way to work, I read and screen cap motivational speech and I even do a perfect day meditation just to help me keep going for now. Reading inspiring blogpost especially from timothytiah, bongqiuqiu because the positivity is just infectious and other blogs which promote my dream travel list which is Japan

If I complain so much... I should just quit and find another job right?

I did and I am now waiting for the confirmation although sometimes I am on the verge of hopelessness and I have to keep reminding myself to be patient and have faith.

So what can I do? 

In one of the perfect day meditation I hear every morning stated that "If you help people to get what they want, You will get everything that you want". 

I am trying to do that right now... I try my best to help the people I care about. I am genuinely hoping for the best for them. I am trying to get rid off any form of negativity. 

I am hoping for a magical experience and I will not stop believing.  

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Toostressouttothinkofatitle

Hello,

Dear all whoever reading this post. First of all I want to ask, why the hell are you here? Even I don't know why I am writing this at this hour when I am suppose to be resting after a long day at work. It's not actually long I work 9 hours a day (yes, I skipped lunch almost every day). I am exhausted with my job... I don't even know how to make my job enjoyable anymore... I kind of hate everything right now and all I want to do now is to be with myself.

I hate going out... I hate meeting people, I hate waking up at 6.30am everyday, I hate getting stuck in the jam everyday, I hate my working life it's been months since I last go out and have fun with my friends. I have been postponing because I always don't have enough money and I don't want to. What am I kidding... maybe I am suffering some new employee depression. Okay.. I am just making that up...no such thing for an Asian to have a depression.   

So what I'm doing right now is documenting this moment so when I read this after a few months after this, I will be laughing. I mean I should be, I signed up for this, things will always be the same for an engineer.  I will always have to deal with deadline, people pressuring me, sitting on the same spot for 9 hours... even the most positive people will be demotivated.

I need a vacation right... But I feel like I am a weak person if I do that, if other people can do it. Why can't I do it? I can do this... I can do this. I am not weak...just very very very demotivated.


  Look at my desk... This is actually quite clean. Files, drawing plan keep piling up. I am mentally tired right now. Even writing this post making me tired. 

So abrupt end because I want to do nothing and maybe after this I will be refresh and motivated to take over the world again.

BYE

Thursday, March 27, 2014

When Miuns go picnic

**DISCLAIMER** SUPER LONG OVERDUE POST.


Hello, I am back again. It is almost the end of the month and I am just about to blog what I done on my very long (1 week) holiday during Chinese New Year.  But since I am a Miun and Miuns don't really have many options for a getaway... Nevertheless I still enjoyed my holiday so much that I can't wait for next year Chinese New Year. So here's a miun's style for a budget but fun way to spend time with family.

PICNIC

My family loves picnic... Picnic a fun way to relax and spend quality time. It's relatively cheap, the only thing you have to spend is fuel and of course food... Food is the most important thing in a picnic. It's a must to have food that can feed the entire village than to have less. I think if an apocalypse going to happen soon, my family will be very well prepared for that (even if it's a zombie apocalypse).  

Location: Pantai Dalit
Weather: Gloomy

Activity: 
1. Momurimon, Bercerita and listening to all our family silly jokes.
2. Mandi laut la, apa lagi. Swimming by the sea.
3.MAKAN
4. Counting the numbers of rubbish 
5. Killing innocent crabs and destroying their homes.
6. NAP

other miscellaneous activities such as "beach sea art", "tanning", "dog walking" etc... can be included from time to time.  





Not many pictures were taken that day since it started raining and then we went back to my parents house to resume our picnic indoors and momut all day watching movies.

  The thing about picnics is even though when the beach flies may terrorize us, we end up sticky afterwards, we might spend too much time looking for that perfect spot, there may not be a proper toilet or wash area, we pack too much food... I try to never miss a picnic with my family because,

There's a sense of adventure like exploring new places, it's our bonding time even though what we mostly do now is just lazing around.  During my childhood it's a time where I can meet my cousins because during that time, there were no internet, no smartphones and we cannot drive yet so it's the only time where we can play together, making adventures of our own.

Picnic spots in Sabah we visited so far.

1. Tanjung Aru
Oh gawd... I look like a whale jumping. LOL

Crowded on weekends but is relatively clean and safe with a lot of picnic hut so you don't have to bring fold able table but maybe you can bring extra chairs if you want too.

Tanjung Aru is divided by 3 area, the first beach, second beach and third beach.

At the first beach is where you can buy snacks and tidbits also have a proper meal but I am seriously giving advice to all of you reading this if you ever order "Cheese Burger" beware because it might be just grilled buns with cheese and a lot of chilli sauce it it. There's also lots of events held here like music festival and beach party. There's a bar, a restaurant... in short first beach is not for picnics more like a place where you can chill by the beach.

 Great sunset pictures.

Second beach apparently also have a restaurant but there is only one and it is still quite near to the playground. There's an open area with beautiful green grass, I hate to say this but most of the picnic facilities at Tanjung Aru is worn out and seriously need maintenance. Still a nice place to have a picnic though. Less crowd there too compare to the first beach.

Third beach... actually I am not quite sure this place still existed because the last time I went there some part of the beach has been demolished for airport runway project.     

2. Tanjung Lipat


It's the new "It" beach, seems like people are flocking there every weekends and it's very pack. But the playground are new and they have a good working toilet. Quite adequate picnic facilities but packed and you can still spot quite a lot amount of rubbish.

However it has been upgraded tremendously since my last picnic there with my family. My last picnic was 7 months ago...
 Making a sand castle with cute kids.

Now, not only you can go picnic there... You can do the miun style exercise by not going to the gym (face it gym fees are expensive and even the RM10 per class I cannot afford) and jog, skate, cycle whatever your preference by the beach.  If you are so thick skinned you can even zumba by the beach, just bring along your boom box and dance like nobody's business.


But parking space may be a problem for this area. I'm not sure whether it is the lack of parking space or Sabahan just park wherever they want which can be dangerous if something unexpected happened... ~palis-palis



3. Karambrunai, Lagoon Park.

You have to pay RM10 per person and additional fees to used the banana boat there. It's a good place if you're planning to do some tanning since it's quite a private beach so you won't have people gawking at you.

We used to lived quite near to this place, my Bapa cycled to the park.


One of our family peeves must set up tent for ALL PICNIC. Told you, Lidi clan are ready for anything. 

You can use all the facilities at the Lagoon Park and there is no hidden cost, unlike Mimpian Jadi resort. Will blog about this some other time. 



Bikini picture to increase blog traffic. :P

4. Kibunut river

This used to be our favorite picnic spot but the place is quite dangerous now. My aunt heard there's actually crocodiles there, so we kind of stop going there. We used to camp there, the place is quite okay. There's a public toilet, tap, a picnic hut and a barbecue place. The fee was quite cheap around RM2 or RM1 per person.



   

5. Pantai Manis
To be honest we only went to this place once when I was still in my primary school years. The beach was clean I don't really remember much but we had a lot of fun here. Maybe I should suggest the elders to do a picnic here again.

6. Dantai beach
Blog about this before so do visit this LINK. It's at Kota Belud by the way.

7. Mahua Waterfall.
I am a warm blooded mammal so couldn't really enjoy freezing cold water. Heard that the place has been upgraded tho. Maybe should visit here again since it's at my kampung.


#selfie

Apparently the last time I went there was with my boyfriend. (-_-)

This post kind of a walk to the memory lane for me. As stated in my instagram I am a photo hoarder. I really, really can't delete any photos unless I really had to which is rare and I treasure all my photos.  So thank technology for external hard disk!

Now that all of us are getting older, we spend less time with each other... busy with work, school and other activities...

BUT 

No matter how far we will go, no matter how hectic our life will be, No matter how crazy our family is...
Family always come first.

End...

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Kumbaya My lord...

Or in my case... "Kumaya". LOL (Kumaya in Dusun means Getting Rich)

The rough time are going to come, But...they have not come to stay.
They have come to pass.
When unexpected events happened... Your life at that moment either goes in slow motion or speed up every seconds that made you wonder what the hell happened? But one thing in common with those two is, the moment will pass.

Right now I am worried, scared, stress and wish that the world is at its apocalypse verge so everything will vanish including me. But that won't be happening anytime soon and maybe if we took good care of Earth maybe there won't be one. I face to face reality, put my warrior princess mode and fight!

 

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